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Friday, June 10, 2011


Holy shit do I not care about this asshole's dick.

Absorbing political news is a compulsion of mine -- no suprise to anyone suffering through my tirades -- but it's hardly a happy one. Thus, when I read the very first inklings of this scandal, I wondered if I could manage to get hit by a bus within the next 24 hours. After all, death or a close cousin to it would be the only escape.

The worst thing about this bullshit is that it destroys even my meager sense of charity. I can condemn the media for concentrating on bullshit -- after all, they're an oligarchy so even if they spew crap no one wants to hear they won't respond to market pressures to put something better on. Hell, they'll actually cancel shows with good ratings if it improves their political or social standing within the aristocracy -- pride and power are far more important than profit.

But when we get a sex scandal, there's always a chance the populace will join in, and with the internet, the chance is damn near 100%. So not only is the mildly diverting Daily Show/Colbert Report made completely fucking useless (instead of just mild dribble with some really funny stuff every now and then), but mundane news -- tiresome on the best of days -- is complete shit for nearly a solid month. I can't tell myself it's just the media: nope, millions of americans are just as fucked up -- and they vote.

And no one lears a fucking thing. Hell, nothing is even creatively done with this shit. It's not like the major outlets are savvy enough to compare the political impact of putting your penis in the wrong place to endorsing the murder of innocents. Each Dickgate happens in a cultural singularity where everyone forgets everything that happened before, creating not only the perfect soil for double-standards, but the most tired fucking comedy known to man. We're talking about comedy that makes "white people X like this/black people X like this" look like high art.

If anyone reading this tiresome rant ever enters politics and finds that his or her genetalia has become a matter of public discussion, do yourself and everyone else a big favor: own that shit. If you're accused of sleeping with someone, claim instead that it was an orgy. If you're accused of lewd photos, claim to be a twenty-year veteran of the porn industry. If someone catches you in a compromising position, point out the pictures are inaccurate because they don't show the pudding jacuzzi and the little people "wrestling" team. Treat the media with contempt and maybe we can at least get some entertainment during our news blackout.

You could... call him and ask if they're related?

It's funny when you don't pay attention to the circus-news; things happen such as suddenly everyone just starts saying the word wiener or jimmer.

While we were worried about penisgate, stories like this were downplayed.

Everyone should follow that link. It's off-topic as hell, but -- y'know what, John will back me up on this. Follow the link then endorse it if you would, John.

And be sure to read the comments. Pure win. There is yet hope for our species.

Part of the weirdness of Michael Weiner/Savage is that for all his right wing hate propaganda he's also a New Ager with interest in crunchy granola pseudoscience AND knew Allen Ginsburg, with some murmurings that he might have been a "special friend" of the poet.

It's amazing to me that right wing audiences are completely willing to have blind spots for the personal behaviors of anyone who will spew bellicose rightist harm, but are not apparently willing to cut the rest of the world similar slack on our private lives. (How does pill-popping, Preparartion H-kept-me-out-of-Nam, $1 million for Elton John to play my wedding Limbaugh still have a show, for example..?)


Kings >> Commoners.

Galactic Empire Times: so good!

Yeah, Weiner's back story is even more bizarre than David Horowitz's, and that's saying something.

(I imagine him calling his mom to tell her he'd decided to use "Savage" as his on-air pseudonym, and her asking, "What kind of a name is Savage Weiner?")

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