But what about Martian invasion?

Barack Obama is apparently developing a fondness for his future Secretary of State's threat to totally obliterate Iran, if this is to be believed:

U.S. President-elect Barack Obama's administration will offer Israel a "nuclear umbrella" against the threat of a nuclear attack by Iran, a well-placed American source said earlier this week. The source, who is close to the new administration, said the U.S. will declare that an attack on Israel by Tehran would result in a devastating U.S. nuclear response against Iran.

Of course you'd think it wouldn't be quite so critical to put this warning out there until Iran actually a) you know, developed nuclear weapons and b) showed any indication whatsoever that it's suicidal enough to use them against a nation that has 200 nuclear weapons of its own.  But when you're about to assume control of the most powerful nation on earth, it's never too early to declare your willingness to commit genocide, no matter how ludicrous the premise.

So why stop with a "nuclear umbrella"? I can think of plenty of equally likely threats against Israel that deserve, nay, demand preemptive security vows from the Obama administration:

• Airdrop of plague-infested wombats by Australia
• Intense Ukrainian slingshot fusillade
• Poisoning of entire gefilte fish supply by Brazil
• Amphibious deployment of very unfriendly dogs by Malaysia

Call me an idealist, but if our nation can provide a "wombat condom" for poor defenseless Israel then I think it's our moral responsibility to do so.

[ Thanks to Erin for the pointer to the original article. ]

Comments

[lover of jazz]

the only thing more distressing than these reports are the obama defenders who either ignore or are wholly untroubled by them.

[Catherine]

lover of jazz: Yes, what do they say now to replace what they said before November 4: "Well, he has to say those kinds of things in order to get elected. Just wait until he's in office."

Okay, I'm waiting.

[John Caruso]

But with the 2010 mid-term elections right around the corner, he has no choice!

Seriously, it does seem like the pain is palpable from Obama's leftmost supporters, and (to their credit) I haven't seen a lot of rationalizing. Not that it will make a difference in four years (or two), but it's good to see illusions being shattered so quickly.

[Mike]

it's good to see illusions being shattered so quickly

I'd rather have seen them shattered back when it might have made a difference. I really do get tired of people getting their illusions shattered and learning lessons every couple of years; it's bullshit. If they'd open their fucking eyes, instead of walking around like a bunch of mindless zombies, they wouldn't have any illusions to shatter, and maybe then we could get somewhere. Gah.

[Harold M]

I don't want to spoil a good post with an aggrieved, selfish gripe, but those of us hoping to make ends meet through the development of the Wombat Condom would prefer to deploy it at home, first, before we take on the security needs of criminal governments. Some of us have made sacrifices, you see, and bear the scars of defending this great nation against hordes of furious, vicious, plague-ridden wombats. I can sympathize with the idealists who wish to extend it abroad. Their hearts are in the right place. But home is where the heart is supposed to be. Home, where the threat of wombats grows greater with each passing minute.

When that infamous 3 AM call comes, and the sky is filled with wombats, who among us wishes to tell the children that the Condom that could have saved them was... I'm sorry. So sorry. But this is an emotional issue for me.

[John Caruso]

Spectacular!