I do my level best to avoid mainstream media tabloid news, but I also have a news page up all day long that bludgeons me with vacuous headlines (with excerpts my monkey brain can't help but partially absorb), so despite my best efforts I end up knowing a thing or two about clowns like Herman Cain. Which is my excuse for having come across this article three weeks ago:
Cain says God persuaded him to run for president
[...] In a speech Saturday to a national meeting of young Republicans, Cain said the Lord persuaded him after much prayer.
"That's when I prayed and prayed and prayed. I'm a man of faith — I had to do a lot of praying for this one, more praying than I've ever done before in my life," Cain said. "And when I finally realized that it was God saying that this is what I needed to do, I was like Moses. 'You've got the wrong man, Lord. Are you sure?'"
I actually find this pretty damn funny not only for the notion that the ALL-POWERFUL CREATOR OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE is concerned that Herman Cain become the president of the United States in the year 2012 (as opposed to, oh, say, living a life of quiet worship and service to the poor), but because this same God is telling other Republicans the exact same thing. Now that is a deity with a sense of humor. (Of course He apparently also wants both Michigan and Nebraska to score touchdowns in the same game, so how can we possibly understand His divine will?)
It's even funnier in the case of Cain, though, since he's now bowing out on the task Almighty God set before him. Really, consider this: Cain says the Lord of Hosts personally instructed him to run for president, but after a few weeks of bad publicity he's tossing aside this divine calling. It's as though Moses said to YHWH: wait—I have to wander through the desert how long? Huh. Well, thanks just the same, flaming shrubbery, I mean I'm genuinely flattered, but I've got my family to think about here.
Will Cain get the full Lot's wife treatment for his disobedience? We can only hope.