Anyone who's spent any significant amount of time criticizing the Democrats has no doubt heard the challenge: why do you focus on the Democrats so much? Which is of course often followed up by the always-hilarious "You're secretly a Republican, aren't you?" by the liberal inquisitor of myopic worldview and even more limited imagination.
So let me just say, on the record, once and for all, so I can refer to it henceforth until the end of time whenever I'm challenged on this: Republicans are bad. Really bad. Man, I sure do disagree with just about everything those bad Republicans think, say, and do. They're so bad that I always make it a point to pronounce "Boehner" as "boner", and I trot out my Dick Armey joke whenever possible. Bad!
Some other things I think are bad, just in case anyone's wondering: conning old people out of their life savings, pouring grease on handicapped ramps, spontaneous combustion, Nazi Germany, and shooting adorable kittens out of cannons at adorable puppies.
I'm glad we've got that settled. Now can we get back to criticizing Democrats?
The Distant Ocean 
“I always make it a point to pronounce “Boehner” as “boner”,”
That IS the correct pronunciation.
There used to be some car dealership advertising on local radio. The guy would spell out his name: B O E H M E R. Then say “bomer.”
Bomer, boner.
That dick Armey thing is funny.
LikeLike
Let me preempt Oxtrot here: “Typical of a pwoggie to whine about the Evil Rethuglicans keeping the Noble Democrats out of power.”
I rely on reading alone for the news to the extent that there was a long time I actually did think it was pronounced “boner.” I thought it was hilarious.
LikeLike
I’ve long stated that the modern Dems are in fact the worst political party in the history of the western world.
Think about it – is there any other one anyone can name in any other developed country that sells its own voters and contributors downriver on a more consistent basis? And they manage to do this losing most presidential elections to boot.
Or the brilliant moves like changing the law retroactively in IL (and ignoring the law in FL) in 2004 to place George W. Bush on the ballots in those key states after letting the GOP steal the 2000 election. These guys can’t play hardball, softball or spitball.
Who can imagine a political party that holds the executive and both branches of the legislature for two years yet can’t (or “can’t”) forward a legislative agenda, shortly following a 6 year period in which they held a legislative majority but didn’t force the executive who stole an election from them to use a veto once.
When you’re one of only two established parties with hundreds of millions of dollars to spend and regular media coverage yet you struggle to compete against the traditional overtly billionaire-sympathetic party in a country fllled with poor people… man, you are truly pathetic.
They’re the JV Republicans. Not even Jabba, they’re Jabba’s pet on a chain.
LikeLike
Quizmaster, don’t forget forget “work to get Lieberman elected after Ned Lamont successfully beat him in the party primary”
LikeLike
Yeah. The poor Democrats. It sucks when people rail at them for selling themselves as an alternative to Republicans when they are anything but.
Bawwwwww. Sure we pretend to be your friend and then screw you six ways from Sunday, but it’s not our fauuuuuuuuuult!! The Republicans maaaaaaade us!!! Bawwwwwwww!! You’re so meeeeeean to us!!
I’d add more, but my violin needs restringing and I haven’t been down to the dumpster yet this morning. Sorry.
LikeLike
Not a bad joke but it gives dicks a bad name. I think more along the lines that the Dems are the assholes of the body politic and the Rs are the hemorrhoids.
LikeLike
StO, thanks to being a kid who read words long before I ever heard them I spent many years thinking “armageddon” was pronounced “ar-MAG-uh-don”. Which seemed right to me because it sounded like the biggest, meanest dinosaur that ever lived. Imagine my disappointment I was when I learned it was actually pronounced like some kind of wispy pasta.
Thank goodness for Ragnarok, or I might have had to give up on the end of the world altogether.
LikeLike
I thought “innovative” was “in-NAW-va-tive” for a while too.
LikeLike
ms._xeno, the dumpster makes me think you’re looking for a… dead cat? That’s what I thought of and it made me chuckle. I’m not sure if this is a case of me twisting things out of my own perversity, or explaining an obvious joke and turning it unfunny.
LikeLike
StO, it’s the family cat (still very much alive) that’s taught us everything we know about harvesting wealth from dumpsters. It’s the least the little shit could do after running up almost two grand in vet bills last month.
But… close enough. 😀
LikeLike
You forgot to end the post title with , mkay?
LikeLike
Yeah, the annoying part of this posting was that I spent the entire writing time debating whether or not to put that in there. It irks me to have someone intellectually squatting on the phrase “are bad”.
LikeLike