Air lines

Have United and Continental settled on a name for their merged airline?  If not, I'm thinking Uncontinent.

And while we're on airlines: look, person who just happens to be sitting by the window, I understand that you hate clouds and sunlight and the blue sky and freedom and everything else that's good and wholesome in the world, but could you at least consult the rest of the row before you seal us into our pestilential sky tomb?  Contrary to what you seem to think, sitting by the window doesn't make you captain of the window.

7 thoughts on “Air lines”

  1. I’m sorry, but for once I have to disagree with you, John.
    Sitting by the window does indeed make you “captain of the window.” And I say this as a committed aisle-seat-taker. The (relative) total freedom of “life on the aisle” far outweighs any minor “advantage” the window-seat-taker could gain from window proximity. You have to give them something. It’s only right.

    Like

  2. I’m leaning towards Bjorn on the principle of the thing. Besides, if window guy asks are you really gonna be like “No, it stays open”? That could make an unnecessarily tense flight. You could have just created a crotch bomber.
    However, I too don’t understand what’s mentally wrong with someone who has the relatively rare chance to view the world from a different perspective and decides that it’s just a boring hassle. It’s like touring the Wonka Factory and saying “Blech, no thanks, I brought some Saltines.”

    Like

  3. Maybe you can barter with el captaine – if he wants to get past you to use the washroom, he knows what he has to do…

    Like

  4. I’m a committed window seat person and yes, I am captain of the window and it stays open unless the sun is hitting me in the face. In my benevolence I might close it if the sun hits someone else in the face.
    I fly only once or twice a year, so these little opportunities to wield absolute power over the output of a 3.8 x 10^26 watt fusion reactor don’t come up that often. I make the most of them. Well, come to think of it I’m only wielding power over a hundred watts or so, but whatever.
    Mostly, though, I ignore the Sun and stare at the ground, the horizon, distant thunderheads (they’d better be distant).

    Like

  5. Donald, you are not captain of the window, you are DEFENDER OF LIGHT. I understand your desire not to be blinded by our fusion god in the sky, and I salute your benevolent concern for your rowmates.
    The people I’m talking about are the homunculi who–in the absence of any direct sunlight–immediately slam shut the window (or both windows, since their cankered souls can’t tolerate even a tiny sliver of natural light showing behind their field of view), then turn on the overhead light and crack open their John Grisham book.

    Like

  6. Or worse; what about that jerk who keeps the window up and then has the bad manners to block all our entitled views with his big stupid head! Huh, cloud boy?!? What about THAT guy?
    Seriously, we all hate flying (and I certainly understand the relentless frustration that is its essence), but I don’t get why this is so irksome.

    Like

  7. I always get an aisle seat so I can concentrate on holding up the plane by sheer force of will. If I was at the window, I might have to acknowledge I’m ‘way up high and my will could be compromised. Thanks heavens for Ativan; without it, I’d never get near the damn things.

    Like

Comments are closed.

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started