This can't possibly go wrong

It's good to know that in between obliterating Afghan wedding parties and executing children, the US military still has time to dream a little:

In its 2011 budget (PDF, 522 pages), the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency lays out its intention to create "BioDesign," a project to create artificial life, presumably with military purposes in mind.

"BioDesign eliminates the randomness of natural evolutionary advancement primarily by advanced genetic engineering and molecular biology technologies to produce the intended biological effect," the DARPA document states.

The agency says it wants to develop "a robust understanding of the collective mechanisms that contribute to cell death" so as to "enable a new generation of regenerative cells that could ultimately be programmed to live indefinitely."

You know, there are some science fiction stories I wouldn't mind becoming true, but this isn't one of them.  (But then again neither was this, and we're making stellar progress there as well.)

AND FURTHERMORE: This comes in the wake of the Pentagon doing its best to make Terminator 2 a reality:

The Pentagon has unveiled a new "chemical robot" that's half liquid, half solid. [...] The new robot — which scientist are calling a ChemBot — moves by inflating and deflating parts of its body via a process called jamming. This causes its skin to change between semi-liquid and semi-solid states.

(My favorite quote from the story was "It's like the Blob with an attitude"—because the original Blob was really short on attitude, wasn't it?)

BUT: Despite all of that, the most immediately horrifying manifestation of science fiction spilling over into reality for us Californians is Arnold Schwarzenegger promising to veto single-payer health care legislation for the third time.   Y'know, as a kid I never even suspected that when he said "Fuck you, asshole" he was talking to me personally.

Comments

[Harpfool]

Well, as Ozymandias and Dr Frankenstein could both attest (OK, not Ozymandias, he was dead), long term hubris tends to result in unexpected (not to mention ironic)outcomes. Assuming that the morons who dream this shit up actually had the technology to create regenerative cells that could be armed to the teeth AND would live forever, how certain is it that the Eveready Bunny artificial life forms would just keep on doing those same morons' bidding forever? I mean, once they've given you life, you can do whatever you want, right? Anyone who's had teenage kids knows what I'm saying.

Too bad you'd have to live forever to get a chance to laugh at these @$$holes' utter disconnect from reality...

[Save the Oocytes]

Reminds me of Gregory Benford's Galactic Center series, Terminator, and probably dozens of others I can't think of right now...

[Oarwell]

I hope they look like puppies.

[twif]

so...genetically engineered super soliders? cool! and they are immortal too? awesome. you're right, there is absolutely no way that plan could fail or have any flaws or go horribly, horribly wrong in any possible way (including the annihlation of the human race, nope, not a chance). the idea is just too awesome to not pursue!

besides, if, and this is a huge if, cause as we metioned: too awesome to fail! Anyway, if something did, somehow, go wrong...something like the genetically engineered, bio-designed immortal super soldiers deciding that war was wrong (how could they, cause they are awesome and war is awesome and awesome things are awesomer when combined...) or that humans didn't deserve to live (because they were, i don't know, too violent or destructive or bad for the environment or something) and the soliders start a systematic genocide that decimates humanity and drives the species to the edge of extinction in just a few short years; well, that's not a problem. cause there would totally be one person who tires of living in caves and is super-smart, athletic and handsome and would then start a revolution and wipe out the rogue immortal super soldiers using a secret weakness he (well, maybe she, but really, he, cause chicks aren't as good at the whole rebellion thing, right? hey! don't hit me!) discovered even though he was on the run and living in caves and trees and shit.

so, see, nothing could possibly go wrong, but we're totally covered when it does. er, if! i meant if!

[John Caruso]

I totally embrace not only your scenario, but your use of "totally".

[LotF]

This reminded me of a Nick Turse article over on TomDispatch.

http://www.tomdispatch.com/post/174912/nick_turse_the_Pentagon%E2%80%99s_battle_bugs/

That project was half-Borg, half-"Them!" or something. Maybe we should just go through every library and store in the D.C. area and yank all the sci-fi off the shelves.