Wheels within wheels, man

In comments, redcatbicycliste pulls back the veil:

Conspiracy theory (?): I think that Obama [secretly] wanted that woman to lose the Senate race in Massachusetts. Por quoi? Because, it lets him off of the hook of having to deal with, to sign into legislation, the so-called health care (although, what both houses of the Congress has drafted is a turd; and I think it should be called "access to medical services", and it should be free to all citizens) reform.

Now, I had the same thought last night when I read this article.  But I took it one step further: maybe Barack Obama had Ted Kennedy bumped off.

Makes perfect sense, right?  Think about it: they got rid of Kennedy because he was the most prominent voice in the Senate for health care, and they knew he'd not only push for provisions they didn't want but was a guaranteed yes vote.  Then with Kennedy out of the way they tried to stall until after the Massachusetts special election, so they'd have their too-many-Republicans excuse in place.  When the delay started becoming too obvious they asked Joe Lieberman—Obama's mentor, don't forget—to stop the whole process in its tracks (remember what a "surprise" it was when he switched his vote?).  And that plus the holidays gave them enough time to get another Republican elected so Obama could immediately roll over, thus completing Operation Health-Care-Pretend.

Crazy?  Maybe.  But maybe that's just what Barack Obama wants us to think.

And it doesn't stop there.  Was Obama also behind Paul Wellstone's so-called "accident"?  C'mon, people, the question answers itself.  The guy's not playing 11-dimensional chess, he's playing 11-dimensional MULTIPLE ASSASSINATION.

Comments

[Donald Johnson]

Remind me to tell you sometime about my theory of alien nannites who've been implanted in our brains and control all our thoughts. If they'll let us, of course.

11 dimensional chess has gone out of favor. At the one fanatical pro-Obama blog where I lurk, the talk has shifted to a new stab in the back theory--the lefty internet opponents of Obama have brought him down. You can't be much of a multi-dimensional chess player if you can be checkmated in our political system by some cantankerous bloggers. So I think that metaphor has been put into storage for the time being.

[cemmcs]

John Caruso maybe you should not be blogging about this because...er...uh...you know, right?

[John Caruso]

I thought about that too, but what's he going to do? Knock me off right in the middle of this comment? Ha! I'd like to see him tr

[john]

Sitting in the Oval Office/Star Chamber languidly stroking his long-haired kitty: “Wellstone, Kennedy, and now Caruso. Egggggssscellennnnt.”

Must also wonder what happened to Sonny Bono. Something a bit *not on* about that one. Irish rock stars beware!

[sam]

Thank you for the above----I'm not witty but you all deserve an appreciative audience.

John, thank you, also, for opening my eyes re:abortion rights and the Democratic party. I knew Obama was a politician but I really was still so naive.

[TearDownThyHannities]

The universe could be a superhologram emanating from Obama's mind. We can't reliably prove that this isn't the case. You think that's a keyboard in front of you, but it's just a construct, a mental projection, and those letters just symbols that allow you to imagine yourself as existing.

Blogs are the mRNA that allow us to build the proteinaceous reality.

It's deeper than you real sighs.

[redcatbicycliste]

Mr. Caruso, if I had known you would quote me (for which I am flattered), I would have taken something to keep my potty mouth from having diarrhoea.

[Gnome Chomsky]

I wish I could laugh, but I've seen too many dead-serious assertions that the Republicans killed Wellstone. I even remember people saying that Bush himself put the hit out on Pat Tillman, because he heard about how Pat had become a Chomskian peacenik, and knew that he could singlehandedly lead a popular revolt against Bush's administration.

I love how these conspiracies always involve a supervillain with all the expected desires for total world domination, but who always overlooks something obvious that trips them up, and then fails to liquidate the everyman sleuth who breaks the case. Methinks our conspiratorial friends spent too many of their formative years absorbing Scooby Doo plotlines.